In silent meditation tonight, I confessed to the Lord how frail and feeble my heart is in the day of adversity. Yes,trials come to strengthen and help one grow but some trials have a way of uprooting the tree from the roots if we do not water and groom it well. The winds blow and storms rise but a well watered tree stays rooted.
Personally I allow storms sway me, when the winds surge I run and refuse to face them. I literally forget that some winds blow to cool off the atmosphere. Some winds prepare the way for rains etc. Just so many other functions with the windy period.
Just yesterday I judged myself again -lest any man judges me- that I have a lot of growing up to do. Though the Lord is at my right hand, he expects me like he told Moses to stretch the rod and TAKE CHARGE that in itself is all the AUTHORITY in Heaven and earth given to us to function as He does. How long shall it take me to realize that I am like God? Ok if that doesn't go well with my "theology", I'd say; "He is in me, His kingdom and Government rule through me. He resides in me, his glory is seen through me; God dwells in the midst of me and Heaven is in my heart"( I am wrecking the walls of religion the more).
If I possess all these knowledge about God in me, why I'm I ashen-faced in times of trouble and so quick to throw tantrums at God? The wind only blew to usher in serenity. Even the floods rose so I'd rise in the flood. I am meant to saddle on it like Noah's ark.
The enemy of my soul,an expert at making me believe God perpetually sets me up for failure is always there to distort my belief system. Simply put,he presents God as a task master always with a whip to punish me. He says to me; "Did God say? Can God really do all things? Do you think God is interested in... Don't you know God is always angry at, Do you still believe God can and has God not forsaken....bla bla bla"
If that is Gods nature, then I do not need the blood. Let me just know he flogs me by the minute because I am by nature an offender -no point trying to walk uprightly.
He makes me believe the lie that God is so unable to save me. He makes me concentrate on all my flaws and magnifies them. Meanwhile God just allowed the floods to make me know he has conquered all for me hereby giving me victory over all things.
I just need to walk a level higher from head knowledge to believing that God is.....Meaning, my faith MUST grow up from being a toddler for life to an adult. Not an adult who wouldn't take instructions from God but one who TAKES charge because God has given me lee way to operate thus.
I need to Grow up and to say I'd grow in the Lord without trials and tribulations is to make a mess of the faith. Jesus came, hung on a cross in such a humiliating manner just to reconcile man to God and close all gaps between we and the Father. He died in pains and ROSE! There was a moment he felt God forsook him but in a moment ascended into glory. People say; "No pain,no gain". He groaned in misery but he arose in glory. That alone speaks of growth. Right now, he is exalted in glory- nothing can beat that.
In retrospect,we shall surely die(not just physically) and rise in glory. And those moments of death I always fear to face. I look depressed and make God feel like a liar because he is passing me through death. Now Paul said; "I die daily" hmm that wasn't a statement made from some head knowledge but a personal experience in his walk with the Lord.
When we were children, we thought and acted thus but a time comes where you put away childish things and GROW up! Check it, those growth processes of a human body include all kinds of "metamorphosis" . You go through a cycle and encounter all kinds of things that go with the age and times. Example a teenager encounters peer pressure, while an adult man has to make toil to survive even a baby has the teething stage to grow through and many more.
Therefore in this faith, we MUST grow up most times,painfully!
God will not overly pamper an adult. Yes his steadfast love ENDURES but pampering and caressing will give way to disciplinary measures because he loves us and wants us to grow up!
Its easier said one will quibble but its the only true way to the God kind of life. I really grumble and wear a long face anytime God allows me "suffer". I feel so forsaken as though God is partial. I usually look over the shores at those who have it simple and easy wondering why me? But just as I do not know why life treats some fairly and others like me go through a battle to survive, I know God chatises the one he Loves. I may not have all of life privileges at the time most desired but I have a Friend and Fathers who is so jealous over my soul.. That he allows some grooming and trimming in my life is to reveal his deep unquenchable love for me. There are and will never be two MEs, to God I am the BEST thing ever created and He will not exchange me for anything in the earth. But in all, he needs that I grow in rigorous and rugged "faith-trying" moments.
Ha! He wants me to remember he calms the wildest storms of life and permits the tides so I'd learn to trust him and GROW in faith; also making a boast of His glory unlike the disciples who just didn't belief he rules over the elements .He wants me to see it as a usual kingdom life. Now that's not getting familiar with God or trying to rob shoulders. I am awed and amazed by Him every time He comes through for me but on the other hand, God requires that I operate in His glory as my natural habitat because its my heritage and my home.
That will be revealed as I grow up in Him and all the veil ripped off so I will be a mirror that brightly reveals his glory. Till I am in that state where I become more like him reflecting His glory.