Friday, April 15, 2011

"What's it about me"

How will writing "about ‎​​‎​​me" (my autobiography)be complete if I cover up my flaws and weaknesses? It will never be a full story if I make the canvas look so clean and white yet the flip side is dark and crimson.
Oh grace has redeemed ‎​​me from all my flaws and weaknesses though once in a while,I fall short of the glory and my life feels like a ridicule to ‎​​me. People may not see those mistakes but my soul,spirit and body know how much I fall below the standards of righteousness.

Check this, in some years time,I will be spoken of as a go-getter, a risk-taker,a bold,courageous and pushful business mogul who's has righteous principles depicting the kingdom mentality but no one will ever say I was; "laid back,disobedient,jealous,judgmental, spiteful,selfish,stubborn, seldom lazy, proud, haughty, rebellious etc. All those will be pushed behind the scene because they don't make a great success story(and I agree they soil the scroll). I think that there's really nothing in my life worth hiding and if I need to tell people about them, I sure will. I also believe all my mistakes are essential for growth and -whether anyone disagrees with me- they are useful for my purpose in life. Everything that I have experienced in life- the good and bad- were destined to happen and God is in them all.

Please get ‎​​me right,I don't mean to celebrate my weaknesses here and make a mockery of the work Providence did, I wish to say that the story of my life will never be carved out on a canvas to look so superficial and perfect without encouraging all and sundry how I failed in Secondary school and Uni; how I refused to submit to constituted authority and how I back beat my friends,quarrelled with some and never ever agreed with certain many. How I broke laws, messed myself, and made jest of people or had a rough season with my father and made uncountable false starts before the light of his glory shone on my path and drowned all the gory issues of the past.
It won't make a good story till I tell the world about my past and how I was saved by grace- though its "past" and gone, there's a learning for people who think its a way that seems right and cool but leads to death. I will make them know that HE picked ‎​​me from a miry clay and made ‎​​me into vessel he can use.
And for keeps to His glory,the potter worked through ‎​​me once again.

In retrospect, no great warrior started off at the pinnacle, they were raised from the sheep pen, out of the dust and waste places, from the wilderness and prison yards. Some were found in unknown lands and others lifted out of the whore's womb. That part of their story we read in a hurry because it sounds "yuckish" and murky but we stump our feet in celebration when the clergy hypes their victory story.
Watch this,Providence carefully uses the foolish things born in a manger, born in obscurity and hidden in a nile born into the least tribes and conceived in an adulterous union but raised up to assume kingly positions. Yes,they made Headlines in their day .e.g."The prostitute now living among God's people";"the son of a Prostitute now a great warrior","Son of an adulterous relationship emerged ‎​‎​king"; an orphan gets the kings approval and becomes his queen" etc.
‎​​We read their raw,unedited and unmasked life as it was.

I also realise how much I love to identify with such people who started life like it would tear them to shreds yet they emerged like that dreamer who saw the sun,moon and 11 stars bow to him yet passed through the prison yard or is it he who lived in the fields tending sheep and smelling dung or the one who slept on classroom desks because he had no where to lay his head?
How will ‎​you speak of the world's richest men without mentioning their failures?

On my paternal grandpa's tomb is written; "Here lies a great man of achievement" while that statement sounds true, he went through very challenging faces of life. His greatest achievement for ‎​​me is hearing the Highest call and living for the ‎​king of glory,the immortal and invisible Lord of all the earth.

In my lifetime, just as my late Grandpa and other successful people, I want to be known as a woman who lived an excellent life glorifying my Creator while using every part of my life-including the good, bad and ugly- to encourage anyone who's gone through the bumps, curves, forks and thistles I have ever(and I ​​​am still going through he quarry) experienced.