Thursday, December 23, 2010

Mixed emotions-Praise God i tell myself

Some days ago, I could hear my heart cry loud, I could feel the heavy tear drops but my eyes were dry and I still wore a calm demeanour. My heart bled and my soul was thirsty but I chose to take courage in God. I could feel a deep frustration about so many things but my response was;"I know God STILL and can...."
I was a bit pensive, sober, restive and disturbed but in my usual God-orchestrated manner SURE of God. I mean it got to a point I should question God and believe the arch enemy's lies that God can not carry all upon his shoulders and he will not fulfil all that concerns me. I was forced to feel that "afflictions" have a salient way of repeating itself over and again BUT I have HOPE in God that all HIS WORDS prove true and the pains and sorrow will not rise up a second nor an umpteenth time amen.
In my muse some days ago, I felt no one cared for me(still the enemy's lies) but the LORD made me see that each person I look up to has a challenge, a struggle and a hurdle to overcome so I should look to Him. My good friend would always say to me; "Eno,LOOK UP". He is the ONLY author and finisher of our faith and it's in Him we live, move and have our being. Therefore, vain is the help of man. Men can rally round but they will not fill the vacuum meant for God.
Now I imagine how Paul and Silas sang and prayed in the face of trials, seeing the prison doors locked against them but hoping in God to deliver them. They may not have sung for freedom from unjust jailing but to let the inmates know that God remains God in good and gory times. So I got myself to praise God-it was not pleasant yet I did-not because I'm waiting for "sudden" results though I wouldn't mind if the answers came instantly but because he remains the unquestionable God.

Praise the Lord I told myself and praise the Lord I will keep telling myself.I will not resort to self pity nor allow anyone do so. If anyone should, let it be God.

Today as I write, God showed me some powerful scriptures spoken through David. One says;
"O my people trust in me at all times. Pour out your heart to me for I,God am your refuge. He said to me; "I have spoken once and many times have you heard me,Power belongs to me and I say to God; "Unfailing love belongs to you(paraphrase mine)".
In gratitude I also read another Psalm; "Lord you crown the year with a bountiful harvest;even the hard pathways overflow with abundance. The wilderness becomes a lush pasture, and the hillsides blossom with joy. The meadows are clothed with flocks of sheep, and the valleys are carpeted with grain. They all shout and sing for joy! Amen.

I owe God all the gratitude for a well spent 2010 even though some fig trees have not blossomed, there is hope for 2011. I particularly thank God for life, I am not six foot down voiceless,ripped to skeletons and confined to grave clothes. I am alive and I rejoice. The troubles of today shall not overwhelm me neither are they to be compared with the glory I shall receive. I can only say; " I shall emerge with testimonies"
Praise God I tell myself!!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

GROW the storm

In silent meditation tonight, I confessed to the Lord how frail and feeble my heart is in the day of adversity. Yes,trials come to strengthen and help one grow but some trials have a way of uprooting the tree from the roots if we do not water and groom it well. The winds blow and storms rise but a well watered tree stays rooted.
Personally I allow storms sway me, when the winds surge I run and refuse to face them. I literally forget that some winds blow to cool off the atmosphere. Some winds prepare the way for rains etc. Just so many other functions with the windy period.
Just yesterday I judged myself again -lest any man judges me- that I have a lot of growing up to do. Though the Lord is at my right hand, he expects me like he told Moses to stretch the rod and TAKE CHARGE that in itself is all the AUTHORITY in Heaven and earth given to us to function as He does. How long shall it take me to realize that I am like God? Ok if that doesn't go well with my "theology", I'd say; "He is in me, His kingdom and Government rule through me. He resides in me, his glory is seen through me; God dwells in the midst of me and Heaven is in my heart"( I am wrecking the walls of religion the more).
If I possess all these knowledge about God in me, why I'm I ashen-faced in times of trouble and so quick to throw tantrums at God? The wind only blew to usher in serenity. Even the floods rose so I'd rise in the flood. I am meant to saddle on it like Noah's ark.

The enemy of my soul,an expert at making me believe God perpetually sets me up for failure is always there to distort my belief system. Simply put,he presents God as a task master always with a whip to punish me. He says to me; "Did God say? Can God really do all things? Do you think God is interested in... Don't you know God is always angry at, Do you still believe God can and has God not forsaken....bla bla bla"
If that is Gods nature, then I do not need the blood. Let me just know he flogs me by the minute because I am by nature an offender -no point trying to walk uprightly.
He makes me believe the lie that God is so unable to save me. He makes me concentrate on all my flaws and magnifies them. Meanwhile God just allowed the floods to make me know he has conquered all for me hereby giving me victory over all things.

I just need to walk a level higher from head knowledge to believing that God is.....Meaning, my faith MUST grow up from being a toddler for life to an adult. Not an adult who wouldn't take instructions from God but one who TAKES charge because God has given me lee way to operate thus.
I need to Grow up and to say I'd grow in the Lord without trials and tribulations is to make a mess of the faith. Jesus came, hung on a cross in such a humiliating manner just to reconcile man to God and close all gaps between we and the Father. He died in pains and ROSE! There was a moment he felt God forsook him but in a moment ascended into glory. People say; "No pain,no gain". He groaned in misery but he arose in glory. That alone speaks of growth. Right now, he is exalted in glory- nothing can beat that.
In retrospect,we shall surely die(not just physically) and rise in glory. And those moments of death I always fear to face. I look depressed and make God feel like a liar because he is passing me through death. Now Paul said; "I die daily" hmm that wasn't a statement made from some head knowledge but a personal experience in his walk with the Lord.

When we were children, we thought and acted thus but a time comes where you put away childish things and GROW up! Check it, those growth processes of a human body include all kinds of "metamorphosis" . You go through a cycle and encounter all kinds of things that go with the age and times. Example a teenager encounters peer pressure, while an adult man has to make toil to survive even a baby has the teething stage to grow through and many more.

Therefore in this faith, we MUST grow up most times,painfully!

God will not overly pamper an adult. Yes his steadfast love ENDURES but pampering and caressing will give way to disciplinary measures because he loves us and wants us to grow up!
Its easier said one will quibble but its the only true way to the God kind of life. I really grumble and wear a long face anytime God allows me "suffer". I feel so forsaken as though God is partial. I usually look over the shores at those who have it simple and easy wondering why me? But just as I do not know why life treats some fairly and others like me go through a battle to survive, I know God chatises the one he Loves. I may not have all of life privileges at the time most desired but I have a Friend and Fathers who is so jealous over my soul.. That he allows some grooming and trimming in my life is to reveal his deep unquenchable love for me. There are and will never be two MEs, to God I am the BEST thing ever created and He will not exchange me for anything in the earth. But in all, he needs that I grow in rigorous and rugged "faith-trying" moments.
Ha! He wants me to remember he calms the wildest storms of life and permits the tides so I'd learn to trust him and GROW in faith; also making a boast of His glory unlike the disciples who just didn't belief he rules over the elements .He wants me to see it as a usual kingdom life. Now that's not getting familiar with God or trying to rob shoulders. I am awed and amazed by Him every time He comes through for me but on the other hand, God requires that I operate in His glory as my natural habitat because its my heritage and my home.

That will be revealed as I grow up in Him and all the veil ripped off so I will be a mirror that brightly reveals his glory. Till I am in that state where I become more like him reflecting His glory.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Don't blame it on the Government

As i strolled home this evening, i saw a young man throw a biscuit wrap on the road and i just wish I could level up with him and "correct" him. I actually took pictures(these are the most decent pictures i have here) of the mindset of the average Nigerian.Most times i judge our minds to be myopic,bestial-permit me,we think like animals-,callous,unpatriotic and care free. We are hardly mindful of our sanity and comfort. Some people live in dirt and feel normal, some own shops pulling thousands of naira yet the dustbin beside them look appealing savoring like good meals. We really do not care about our health/hygiene. Go around markets, shops, some "face me-i face you- homes and attest to this: they wallow in refuse waiting for the Government to come to their aid.

Every Thursdays-in Lagos-is an Environmental Sanitation day for market people and shop owners.These traders hardly come out to clean not to talk of sweep their stalls. If they even make an attempt to sweep, they dump all by the roadside or in gutters. They bring out dirt from the gutter and leave them in front of their shops and keep on with trading. I mean, i see some of them come around their shops on those cleaning days watching for Law Enforcement agents while trying to sell. Lets not even mention the cleaning days for every last Saturday....hmm...all and sundry are guilty. I remember growing up on a street where neighbors even my Father and brothers would go out to sweep and tidy a small lane as a matter of fact. These days, we set out before environmental sanitation for our engagements, we stay indoors and just do not care about our streets and environment. Will government send people to keep our surroundings clean for us?

Some years ago, a friend of mine dropped dirt into a gutter, when I confronted her she tried to justify her action by saying she is not in London where the streets are dirt free but in "Naija" people throw stuff anywhere so she is liable to join.
I really get bothered when i see heaps of rubble, empty tins,refuse from homes etc stacked on the roads? Good gracious me, its grievous!!!. It shows you the mindset of the average Nigerian even when suited up or clothed to the teeth.

I mean a young banker i suppose, stepped out of an air conditioned Toyota car with a nylon from Sweet Sensation(a popular eatery in Nigeria)and she had the AUDACITY-permit me pls- to drop it on the road? Trust me, the illiterate miscreants who know how to "yabb"-booed and "abused"-her but she wouldn't even care to pick it up. She is one out of hundreds of us who eat in buses and throw them out of the window,in the comfort of our cars we prefer to fling on the road than drop on the floor of the car and pedestrians follow suite no matter how many yards away they are from a dust bin? Who is responsible for picking these dirt?

Yes,Government has a system that keeps the environment clean and tidy but why don't we take responsibility in case the streets are not swept? Most times, we act like animals who stop to defecate whenever they feel like but cats hide their "pooh-pooh"?

Personally, my bag could seem un-ladylike because i drop wraps and packs in there till i locate a dustbin and I confront friends who drop as little as recharge cards on the road.I fearlessly harass people sitting beside me in buses not to throw stuff on the road. Who will pick it up abeg? Our environmental agencies are partially active.I mean agencies who work tirelessly keeping the environment spic and span- sweep enclosed streets, walk ways, empty dustbins a least once or twice a week etc. Though in Lagos, they really try keeping the Central Business Districts, government-owned areas and Express roads neat but there are loads of other places that stink because Lagosians formed a bad habit of throwing dirt, refuse and all kinds of rotten things into rivers, gutters etc. Sometimes, i wonder if we are really sane?

Please do not blame the Government because we also make up the nation. It is a Government of the people for the people and by the people. We need to HELP keep Nigeria clean. Some of us can single-handedly provide dustbins in strategic positions and have agencies that take them off the roads once they are pouring over.
Let's be more responsible citizens who care for a nation such as this and see to it's welfare. I believe the citizens are the nation's builders, let us not wait for the Government because they are like me and you. Though the can enforce laws and orders, we must also imbibe good conducts and better morals. We must renew our minds and live by example!

KEEP NIGERIA CLEAN: drink from water bottles, pure water packs and drop them in dust bins or in your bags. In all use the dustbin or make your bags one till you get to a dust bin. Please love and adore the roads you stride on and do not leave that paper there :-))

Friday, November 12, 2010

My church mind must let loose

...Am I angry with being a church nun? No! Will I ever regret being born a priest? Never and No! I actually love being called from obscurity to lime light. I came to God in the most "abstract" but true way. My journey to the new and only way was absolutely gradual until a friend prayed with me leading me into Heavens way.

Receiving God as a young folk was sweet. I gained a seat in the company of faithfuls, received approval from Chapel gurus and my very spiritual siblings counted me worthy to discuss spiritual talks. To me, a lovely day when Heaven stood in an ovation receiving a lost soul like me.

That simple child like mind grew in pure,un diluted faith knowingly pleasing to God till I wilfully joined the "House of Sanhedrins" as a commoner, bowing to all religious laws, submitting to every unfamiliar rule and frolicking with law givers as the gullible follower never able to make a profound statement of truth or counter the jaw breaking laws. I was stuck in their fetters, chains dangling from my hands to my feet; held bound by man's sweetly coated sermon...

Thought my feet should be shod with the Gospel of peace?Selah. Then, why does the chain tying my feet make me cringe in pain? Why are my suddenly rigid, fearful and "churchily" churchy?

It used to be FREE, when on that blissful day I walked into that banquet hall and experienced genuine love. I found peace I'd never known, though bumpy with persecution,suffering and hate from pallies on the other side,it was glorious.

Knowing no other life, I pressed into the churchy life(to gain approval I did),learning the ropes, knowing the necessary parlance and the Christianese. I bagged my title and stuck in the mud!

Shame on legalism, cursed are the laws of men and woe is me who hung on the tree my Saviour hanged.

I wouldn't dare return to the world if not ol' pallies would scorn and I didn't know how to retrace my steps to the life I once received- the chains...Ouch! So familiar like my past, so comfortable yet hurting.

And did I ever gain liberty? You wait and hear me out.
I proceeded from one sect to another growing in rank and file, meditating on their practise and procedures, reciting "terminologies" to "feel among", swearing the oath of each sect and abiding to rules; playing safe and seeking approval; losing the SOURCE and carrying baggages and weighty "resources" BUT still hurting.

Where did this entanglement begin?

In the beginning it was not so...

Like Paul would list his religious achievement, I say:
-I was born and baptised by sprinkling into the "Orthodox movement" with a Baptismal certificate to show for it.
-Raised under a strict and long standing Presbyterian Father of good repute- well respected in that circle for all he had or knew
-Became an active member of different "clubs" in the church
-Enrolled for " confirmation" class at the age of 18 to become an eligible member of the church- call it "Communicant" member- to have access to or dine at the Communion table
Then, my Pentecostal mind began to rebel. I sought for a new feeling, I went left when others went right. My dad was crossed because my "communion card" was empty and that could mean cancelling my name from the church register and that didn't go down well with Daddy's repute
-Sneaked to a Pentecostal church of my choice and joined an organised,decent and I say rigid campus fellowship where I learned a lot about God yet boxed up according to the laws of the fellowship
- I grew to become an Executive member, giving orders to my followers I didn't believe in from my heart, secretly I broke out of the box, and afraid of what the "Elders" would say
Need I say more? I broke all odds because my heart just HATED status quo. I deliberately dodged Corpers fellowship and fell into "fire"- a very old time religion of laws, rules and systems of men and my whole being rebelled.
Today, I still rebel not against the church of Jesus or a body of believers but against the LAWS and rules set up by man's religious system. I also fight my "church mind" and I am at this point saying;

Today, I still rebel not against the church of Jesus or a body of believers but against the LAWS and rules set up by man's religious system. I also fight my "church mind" and I am at this point saying;
"Loose me from the bondage of law that I may walk by faith"

I want to meet with Jesus at the well, in the market square, on the mounts and in the boats. I desire a church without bricks,sitting on the grass, walking on the streets and reclining on my master's bosom.

Yes, call me a critique,for this reason my Lord was crucified that I may come to Him by FAITH. I don't want to be reminded of the Mosaic laws but the words of Jesus at the well;

"Believe me, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship God here or in Jerusalem....
But the time is coming and is ALREADY here when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for anyone who will worship him that way. For God is spirit, so those who worship him must worship in SPIRIT and in TRUTH.

And in my last words...I am not a backsliding Christian, I am a backsliding "law-keeper". I dread laws, they make me afraid of God like hiding my face from his glory; they forever breed guilt and condemnation.
Laws stink; laws reveal sin and dry my bones up. They will never make any man right before God.

Paul my brother racked the word at the "foolish Galatians" who for once desired God by the spirit but started striving by their efforts to know God.

"The person who believes God, is set right by God—and that’s the real life.” Rule-keeping does not naturally evolve into living by faith, but only perpetuates itself in more and more rule-keeping, a fact observed in Scripture: “The one who does these things [rule-keeping]continues to live by them.” Christ redeemed us from that self-defeating, cursed life by absorbing it completely into himself. Do you remember the Scripture that says, “Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree”? That is what happened when Jesus was nailed to the Cross: He became a curse, and at the same time dissolved the curse. And now, because of that, the air is cleared and we can see that Abraham’s blessing is present and available for non-Jews, too. We are all able to receive God’s life, his Spirit, in and with us by believing—just the way Abraham received it"

Right now, I am Galatians 3 crazy! My "churchy mind" wants to be FREE not bound to know God. I want intimacy over the "slave/task driver relationship. I desire LIBERTY to walk with God and abide by His instructions....

"The snare is broken and I am escaped like a bird out of the snare of the fowler, amen."

My churchy mind free me and let me see Jesus face to face...

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Child's heart

Psalm 131
Emphasis on verse 2 "But I have stilled and quieted myself,
Just as a small child is quiet with its mother. Yes, like a small child is my soul with me.

One thing God's trying to teach me is knowing how to remain quiet when I seem not to understand, to calm my "busy" mind and let it become as vulnerable as a child's- learning to believe or believing all I'm told by God.
A child believes when he's told "Don't worry, I'll buy you bla bla". He just trust mum or dad not to fail. David asked God for that kind of heart.
David knew that a heart which believes God as a child is devoid of pride or haughtiness. A child's heart is simple, easy to penetrate and gullible.

A child will never bother himself over waking up, eating, going to school,etc. Every detail of his life is run by someone and he is rest assured that mummy or nanny is at his beck and call. It baffles me how children are by nature born with such an "easy to fool" heart?They so easily believe even if it may be a lie.
A haughty, proud and worried heart can't be found in a child but a man who's grown to know the "good and evil", who's encumbered by life's challenges, who's taught self dependence,who's an expert at logic and reasoning,takes things for granted and even believes he's in charge(not needing any man's pity or help).His heart is somewhat deceitul and lifted towards God. A man who does not have a child's heart is not ready to receive from the Lord.

David, one of Israel's profound kings, with opulence and greatness. He was a great warrior, a man after God's heart, gained popularity from all nations and had a lot of glory. David was no force to reckon with,he won all his battles save for a few God used to chastise Israel. Yet he approached God like a child.He knew how to win God's attention.He saw God as a caring mother who's bossom he could find succor and warmth.He knew how to lie on Gods breast in torubled times. Don't forget that will all his authority and power, he was one of the most embattled king so for him trusting and hoping in God at all times was his only saving grace.
Let's reread Psalm 131 and verse 2 again;
"But I am calm and quiet,
Like a baby with its mother.
I am at peace, like a baby with its mother."

David refused to depend on the chariots and horses of Israel. He knew POWER BELONGS TO GOD and not him.He knew pride and a haughty eye or spirit only puff people up and reduce them to nothing so he chose the easier way, to hope in the Lord forever as a child.
I pray God to give me a heart(just as David longed for)that is simple, gullible in all things lest I take God for granted. I pray for a gullible towards God(and not the things of this world), knowing to trust and hope against hope.

Loving thots

I found a shoulder I can wedge my burdened head,
I've seen palms to cup my tears.
I know listening ears and a mouth which speaks tenderly.
I've met feet that'll take the extra mile just to relief weariness;
I now know lips that will touch mine tenderly,hands that'll wrap me up lovingily and
a body that'll bring warmth.
I know love, care and pampering I've never received.

I know you're my superman, I enjoy your love...
Je t'aime mon cheri!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Buck stops here

My last day at work felt splendid...I thank God. Ask me if I regret? No!!! Ask me If I learned? Yes! In fact so much to start life.
Just that the lessons go as far as managing people and an organisation,working for one man and knowing how to go about daily tasks.
My last discussion with my boss was a cut between emotions and blame-i think vimdictive too. I even heard I told obvious lies though I give it to her she appreciated all my work there and true to it,I did my very best. I got tired when I felt my best was not appreciated and like anyone(I know many who would not cower and be timid like me),lost the zeal to continue.I saw raw and seasoned office politics and for the life of me,I know a lot were not structured well.
But like Jesus,I lay down my flaws in that office and I pray God vindicates me.I also pray to hold no aughts,to love and not be bitter,to know that unfair treatments are part of life and that in them,I should rejoice.It aint easy.
Also I have learned that politics abound in lumpy measures and some are ochestrated and cooked to frustrate employees.I have learned that man loves to oppress another and prefers you work below the boulders like a slave,so many organizations in Nigeria pay peanuts and want employers to work like slaves.Its cheap labor
To be frank I have also enjoyed working with my colleagues,its been a sweet crew of people who respected my place and gave me room. Also my boss who made me fret when she's around but a skilful artist has been good in measures though she never gave me adequate room to occupy as an office manager.she was a boss in her capacity and I have learned from her too.
I won't forget that office in a hurry to say it on my blog means I am keeping record of how I feel and what I saw....
I pray God to give me a large heart to look back on the betrayals,office lies,oppression and all discomfort and LOVE cos I did the job with my heart.

Am off to a new life, am heading to the drawing board to sketch and design too,am chasing my passion with my heart and I will get to where God has in store for me


My Heartthrob Nigeria...
I behold you my great country as the love of my life;
I am favored to be a part of you, it's in your arms I was born Oh my dear motherland.

Its only you I knew from birth and I have grown in you alone.
Hence, I believe in you because you have a hope and a future.

My "green" of life filled with God given resources and wealth.
Though you've grown as the "green-eyed" monster, which wreaks havoc and causes innumerable problems,you are a cool, natural and fertile land.

my "white" of acclaimed tranquility, assumed innocence, some made up simplicity,a religious, pious reverence for God in troubled times, a revolutionary lifestyle and some youthful vigor,you've known wanton sectionalism, power topple, coups, bloodshed, dreadful wars, marginalization and all what not.

I never grew to see you responsible, calm and calculated but aggressive and hysterical;with lots of tribal and religious wars, all kinds of social vices and political killings.
BUT I have sworn to LOVE and have you.

my darling nation state filled with potentials. The only nation with a tusk and a trunk.
I admire your gigantic ears made up of diverse ethnics, tribes and languages.
I herald you as the giant of Africa and that makes me proud of you.

in your gigantic nature,
You have caused the falling and rising of many; some have fled on exile because of your oppression and violence
while many- like me- still fearlessly look for the day of your salvation.
Because I shall call you the Holy nation, a land of Redeemed people,and a desirable place.

Though you are like a bad marriage, I''ll stand by you.
You have made some think of you as a broken promise, a failed state, an empty will and an immature child
I strongly believe that one day you'll evolve into a great virtuous nation.
I will keep my vows to you love and to behold you because you are ordained by God.

you will grow into a GREAT nation. You may celebrate with so much opulence while some live below the dollar,
but for for the Love I have for you, because my heart longs for your peace, I CANNOT remain numb or laid back.
I will not stop interceding for you until your righteousness shines like the dawn and you shall blaze like a burning torch.

Kings will be blinded by your glory, nations shall behold your righteousness and the LORD shall give you a new name.

God bless you Nigeria and I believe in you and will keep loving you.

My beloved NAIJA

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

This Chapter was awesomely challenging

Yes this chapter was awesome cos I have learned to THANK God for the good and bad. I am also learning to trust him through the oppressing moments even the dry seasons and trust me, I have enjoyed A bunch of good times and really windy rainy seasons.
But I realized no one stays on one book forever, a book always has an end and even the most sluggish reader gulps it in no time. I am one of them- well i read at my pace depending on the storyline.

I am just elated going to a new experience orchestrated by God. I have worked in a particular organization for ten months and its been an interesting page of life. Its been an eye opening stage of life, i have worked as an apprentice, like a non profit organization willing to serve without gain but for an experience. I was ninety percent loyal and yes ninety cos I have had proficiency/office flaws, done my deals during office time, been late to work, pilfered to pay my way home though i always paid all monies back( and i have promised never to steal office money monies cos i maintain a clear conscience before GOD), told a few "exaggerated" lies and all what not. But i have paid my dues and I stand boldly to say i have been faithful to the organization.
Trust me, it is TIME to draw these curtains and walk off the stage while proceeding to another level in life. Bible says the footsteps of the righteous are ORDERED of the Lord and he is interested in every detail of our lives. I am one of them. I have had it rough and tough, and I have had it sweet as well. I have been humble, stubborn and humiliated. I have had days I never want to roll out of bed or wanted Sunday to pass....It's been a worthwhile experience and I pray I turn out an easy to work with CEO.

I pray to be like Joseph who despite all the unfair treatments from his brethren and Mrs.Potiphar, did not carry out any vengeance but rewarded them with good. It's for posterity I am learning the hard way- Imagine going to work and feeling less than confident because someone uses his/her mouth to run you down or make you feel you done a favor.
I also pray to be a good and an exemplary boss people will love to work with amen. I know it is working for my good amen.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

To all my folks

My eyes are on U now O Lord

Thank you LORD that I can access you easily and boldly(on my office desk) this afternoon.I approach your throne asking for mercy and your favor even thy grace where i so require.
I am using this medium to pray so those going through my kind of situation or anything so pressing will also tap into this prayer.
Lord, its no show of words or enticing words of human wisdom, its a sincere cry from a broken and hurt heart. Lord Eliphaz said in Chapter five of his book;

"Go to God and present your case to Him. For he does great works too marvelous to understand"

Lord, i set my face as flint and boldly come to you with tears in my eyes and a little appetite for food with a lot of weight to shed from my already dropping shoulders, Help me cos you are ready to bear my burden and carry my load.

I feel so sorry when I do not involve you in my thoughts and words, Lord i know i try to help myself hence failing and falling. Lord I repent and run back to you.

I need to rest on your warm and peaceful bosom Father cos there i find solace and rest. I get so troubled outside of you when i feel you can not help me as i require.

Vain O God is the help of man 'cos i have tasted and known that there hardly come by my window.They pass busily or they make me feel desperate and vulnerable but you never will forsake or turn your loving eyes from me. Lord you are CONCERNED about me.
Today i ask you to give me answers not like I need a quick fix but i need sudden answers lest i make haste or take to flight.

Lord amidst tears i say COME Lord please come lest i sleep the sleep of death. Guard my feet and hold my hands, do not repay me according to my sins O God!
Guide my eyes and lead my path because i Know you are neither a taskmaster or a slave driver, your burden is light and your yoke is easy.

Lord Jesus, I come so you teach me for you will not judge me as men, you are humble and gentle and in you will I find rest for my weary soul.
Lord thank you because am sure you have heard me and in faith i know;

"You perform miracles without number. You give rain to the earth. You send water for the fields;you give prosperity to the poor and humble and you take sufferers to safety.
Lord you frustrate the plans of the crafty, so their efforts will not succeed. You catch those who think they are wise in their own cleverness so that their cunning schemes are thwarted," Amen.

Lord i bless you not by tradition but as a grateful child. Thank you,and thank you. amen.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

My special one

What's so special about you that others can not see?
What's so captivating about that you makes others shove you off?

It's the despised you that's acceptable to my eyes,
It's the rejected you i die to have.

I see a special you which others will never see.
I know something about you others will never know.

I will adore you as the unpolished jagged ends,
"cos I see a beautifully published book.

I want to dust off the cobwebs and read you.
"cos you are that book left on the old coot's shelves to rot off.

Yes that is what i desire, it's the YOU my special one!!!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

CLOSER and CLOSER draw me closer

I am almost at the foot of the Almighty to say the lasting WORD...
Never to go back anymore but to stay committed.
To make a covenant and to seal my eyes from all other maidens and cling to the wife of my mouth...
Closer than I ever thought, closer to the journey without an end save by immortality...
Closer I mean and we'll run the race-my bride and I- without an end line...
But we will run,
We will stumble, rise, fall and LOVE...
We will walk with providence when the road is steep and narrow...
We will never know I again-we seize from selfish living -for we are one
God has made us one from the beginning and we will remain ONE.

In different colors

I wish I could touch my heart, i hear its RED in there. Last night i felt so loved that my heart palpitated and turned "clay" and perhaps red that i almost dug my hand in there to have a feel.
Hmm, imagine how it feels to be in LOVE, note i did not say fall in love? I mean to grow through thorns and thistles and you are the ONLY two roses curling on "enemy-shrubs" for life? Those brambles struggle to grow in our vine but we tethered a goat to get rid of the berries to the roots. I mean its tasking to stay in LOVE but we choose to love LOVE and grow through the seasons.

When its raining,it gets so emotional. The rains rid every murky feeling and helps grow our garden.Its in the rain we do our crying and in the rain we hang on( we don't mind if it drains and drips, we just Love LOVE) and take baby steps.
The rains are showers of blessings but if unanticipated could pour sorrow and disappointments.

The dry season, HMM...sometimes has the most favorable weather but its not always the most celebrated. The day awakes with a cool feeling and then love feels like cherries and strawberries, marmalade and cheese, well scrambled eggs and bread, apples and cereals. Then the sunny yellow sun sets and smites without mercy, dictating one's mood and behavior.If permitted to rule the day, anger,arguments, quarrels and bickering et al will be the order of the day.
A humid, fair weather feeling soothes the mind and body and if its not managed,could breed distrust,coldness and more.

Love has its times and seasons. Its not a fairy tale neither is it a happy- ever after Cinderella story, No! Love as the BIBLE in 1 CORINTHIANS 13 says is

SUFFERETH LONG( sorry its never so succulent as oranges nor juicy as grapes)
IS HUMBLE(imagine saying "sorry" and feeling awkward, deflated or been scolded for things that do not matter?)
IS NOT JEALOUS(he may be mum's boy, tied to family cum friends apron strings, maybe cutting shows or acting up too)
IS NOT IRRITABLE (character flaws, more surprises that reveal the reality of one's weak state, etc)
AND KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS- imagine his been a cheat, a liar,an abusive person and one recovering from a sordid past?
and the like.

Love applies to the male and female 'cos its not selective and never partial. Its never one sided, its a perfect mirror that reflects the attitudes and commitments of both parties.
Love is like cherry pies and gum, like sweets and succulent fruits....Love is also garlic, ginger and prickly pepper; its sour, spicy, itchy tasteless and somewhat salty.

Love is an attitude and has a character too.

BUT I LOVE love and will LOVE like a baby in her cradle, i will crawl and drool,toddle and waddle. I will throw tantrums, pout and stutter;I will love to life and death.I will celebrate and "jubilate" in love,know and learn love, i will jump and bounce in love.

Oh, we will LOVE and stick together like the gummy tree when i was a child.

Last night, I knew LOVE is so sweet and keeps you hungry for more. I mean pure, undiluted love devoid of fear, suspicion and timidity. Well, PERFECT LOVE cast out all fear and I ask the LORD to teach me to love my love...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Why is he still LOOKING OUT for me?

Lord did you know they'd be days I'll hate and not love?Moments all I'd do is to sow hate,discord,bitterness and unrest?
Did you not see the days I'd fight clients, colleagues and my boo? You knew I'd throw tantrums at my old people and keep off from relatives- with my doors shut in their faces?
Am sure you perceived I'd break up with certain friends and dodge the persistent ones?
Lord I'd ask again with a whimsical smile sure you remember Abraham did ask; "What of those weeks of incessant doubt, fear, insomnia born out of worry? Recall nights I drank tears and eased it out as pain? Months I lived without a penny nor an income? Years I lived without an intimate lover or husband?A decade and months without a career path neither did I have a mentor and counselor?

Remember I lounged in bed nursing a baby called "self-pity" and refused calls from people who'd term me as laid-back and not "pushful"?
Lord,I've had it "hurt" from friends + brethren. I've wailed on an uncompetitive and average-looking CV and prospective employers have slammed their gates in my face and I've been turned down severally in places i thought I'd be the sought after.
Lord am sure you knew when I never passed a test(for a promising dream job) neither did my performance excite my interviewers?

You knew how unattractive I was when several lovers bounced my heart? one lasted for a week, another two months, then 6 months lover and one of two years? Some left scratching and puncturing my heart and even trying to steal my confidence?
Lord I'm sorry for counting the woes cos it makes me sad but it helps me look back with UNTOLD joy.

For a while you kept away the job, was it not to make me grow intimately with you?
When you took away jobs, was it not to deliver me from flirty bosses and organizational lies? Has it not paid off now that I'm not in a sham marriage or an abusive relationship?

That you used the line and hook to drag me out of murky relationships? In my thoughts, they were "it" but in your ways you knew I'd either lose you or die....
Have you not saved me from permanent sorrows and pains? Lord I just had to recall my years of disappointment and trials so I could tear the roof off with praise. I'm gratefully thanking you for hijacking my life and not bombing it with some selfish decisions I took but you landed it so safe in your REST.

Thank you for taking the time to patiently renew my life, choosing to love me not as a fair weather friend and for your exceedingly, abundant bowels of mercy even when I'm wrong, lukewarm, callous, lax, hardened, hateful, proud, doubtful and fleshy!

Lord you've used my past to reveal your STEADFAST love for me, you've loved me with no reservations and no price tags attached. Daily you rock me in love pouring out favor and mercy into my wells.

You're a FATHER so tender and a LOVER so true Amen.

Friday, September 3, 2010


The yellow bus is a market place . You find severe hustling, money changing, heavy negotiations, harassment from buyers and rude attitudes from sellers- like a market place a yellow bus can be. Some days are never complete without a buyer staging a scene i.e. brawl between a passenger I call the “buyer” and the seller-the bus conductor.

The conductor: A "uncontrollable, violent, wild-eyed" guy. He hangs like a commodity on the door of the bus. He’s one guy with a coarse husky voice& a mean character: sounds like rusted zinc sheets dragged on a rough edge;ruffled pitted face, black lips, a pierced haggard probably hard look with rumpled, unkempt dressing, an ear ring, sagged jeans, bare chest with overgrown hairy-oozing armpit(yuck).Though some appear neat but a greater percentage are proud to look as violent as touts.No age limits for this occupation!

The Driver: Exasperated, worn out, wild-looking,always aggressive, inconsiderate to commuters.

Types of Drivers: The calm Staff using his bus to raise additional income, the opportunist out to extort and frustrate commuters, the haggard “eko” boy fighting for a living, the middle aged father, the “wanna be”, the drunk and red eyed guy, etc.

Today, the yellow bus was noisy: there is always a hassle over hiked fare, “conductor” quibbling over not having change or holding to people’s cash and stressing the life out of angry passengers returning from a stressful day’s work.

Day’s ago, I boarded a bus as quiet as a grave yard. Everyone including the driver looked serious, thoughtful, maybe somber and a “mind your business” kinda look that if I pinched my skin, people would hear it taut!

Once, I stepped into a musical auditorium: call it “MTV bus” where hot Osupa/Pasuma-Yoruba Fuji buzzed like alcohol. In this case, the “conductor &driver” are on the high not considering their passengers-ever ready to shoot abuses like blows on defaulting passengers. I pity one who sits by crazy/ready to fight passengers (some are ready to lose their scarf, ties etc just to go to battle with a driver/conductor who has no repute to protect or face to hide-wagging war is part of their work description. Some drivers/conductors are surnamed trouble or Aggression!. They always stir a quarrel, prefer to“demand for T-fare” grudgingly, so filled with angst perhaps some transferred heat on all passengers - no decorum, no friendliness whatsoever; “I de tell u now, if u no get change ,com down now”,1k,500 no enta o,no shanse(change) i don tey u now’’ , “wole-wole”, “nah 100( for a N50naira distance o!) if u nor wan enter come down”… and lots more-always hostile!

I entered a bus where the livid driver abused a passenger to his ancestry because of a fare. He said;”I’ll feed your family’’ and the rather irate and ever ready-with-a-reply passenger responded like;”for that statement, you and your family will never excel” on and on they went ….I was dead stiff- all for hiked fares?Hmn!

What of when we're made to jump in like frogs, squeezed like lemonade and squashed like sardine in a bid to make extra bucks for seats made for three people?

Some buses are perhaps the driver’s living room-you find personal effects kept in a corner over our heads.
Some have “attaché” -wooden seats-that don’t only wound buttocks and rip clothes but cause friction around the “bom-bom” – imagine how the makers of these cars would feel?

Some buses genuinely looking like burial grounds and refuse dumps.

Some buses are scraps with no speedometers, no seat belts, neither are there fuel gauge nor brakes, no car keys and no shock absorbers etc. At times, they look like they’d fall apart on high speed. Most won’t accept new tires, engine, and people. Some do not have spare parts anywhere in the world ‘cos they are extinct...Dead!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Deep thought

Lord my cry is desperate, longing for your touch.
Father, though you pardon my misgivings, weakness and judgment, you're my emotions, you put in me a feeling to cry, wail,think and flare.
You put love in my innermost parts, its part of my makeup.
Father, only you can comprehend my dire, frantic need for a man: His touch and feel!
Lord my innocence you foreknow, my weaknesses you foresaw. You know when i can not stand the tides and you know when my strength wears off seldom times;
Father, you know how impatient I've been and how my innocence has worn an expiration date.
My Daddy, i cry and cringe in guilt and shame when my walls cave in for one peck, an extended hug and some pampering.
Lord, strengthen my resolve and come to my prompt rescue. Do not let me give away all I have kept for the best time in my life.Let me not fall or falter till I'm in my safe Haven,

Friday, August 27, 2010

The Eno i used to know

Yesterday,I spent a better part of the day at work reading the blog "In my dream It was Simpler" and I did not know some of the events of each lady got into my blood stream making me a bit vexed at relationships,people,life etc.I began to react and ask questions based on the disappointments and pain I read in the book .i.e ladies who never met faithful men they could settle down with.And being an unmarried young lady who has spent a greater part of my life as a "Church gurl", seeking to please God and keeping my body(though tempted by devious men), i began to question my decisions to love, i even wondered if I am getting it right this time?

The "Eno i used to know" panics at people's failures, "fears their fear" and lives by assumptions. That Eno has a way of believing the reports of other men as though they'd happen to her and she tailors her life to fit people's.

BUT where would the word of God be effectual if Eno believes every story she hears?Has she forgotten that THE JUST SHALL LIVE BY FAITH, Has she forgotten that she MUST WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT, and that she is a royal priesthood, a holy nation and a peculiar person?That is different from every other man including her siblings and parents?

The "Eno I used to know" found out that she is somewhat opinionated, insistent,and argumentative .She throws tantrums like a spoiled child and could be easily provoked to the point where she throws hot, hard missiles.

Lord you need to help Eno in marriage.She does not have to carry any one's experience into hers.She desires to be a good wife and not live by the today's trends.She has heard in recent times how marriages are a far cry from dating(nods in agreement),she listens to all the lies about marriages and ruminates on the divorce stories forgetting that her parents and siblings are happily married. What a life!

Lord, Eno does not know how to be a wife after all, she's never been a wife(but a gurlfriend)so make her ready to be One-a virtuous woman at that!To not just read "Gary Chapman's" theories and teachings and all those marriage propositions yet can not practice even one theory.
She never always knows she is saucy, tough, sarcastic and insensitive until she is dealing with a man she loves.Eno could submit a while till she grows in the relationship then she starts proving heady and taking undue advantage,flinging words without caution.

Lord one last thing is Eno has always been a sister and doesn't know she could be extremely mushy around a man she loves.Lord please help her not to throw caution to the wind but eat the fruits of self-control and patience.She must not think the high walls she built in Uni will help her for it is not by power or might but by the Spirit.That she will flee all appearances of evil and youthful lust.Lord Eno sincerely needs your help because the gurl we used to know was principled, sensitive and at times naive.Lord keep her to that night she bears MRS....AMEN!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Knowing LOVE...

… Were meant for one day,
I wonder why Jesus came for all time?
If all the lingerie, candies and candle dinner
Were preserved for the second month of each year
Then there would be no reserves for honeymoon and all year long.
If all the intimacy and lovely words were hoarded for one day,
What happens to the three-six-four days in which people
Yearn to be embraced and pampered?
You call it love isn’t it?
When he buys all the red dresses and roses for the night?
But why the sudden hate and abuse when he dumps you?
Why rein those curses?
I just wonder
…why love turns to hatred after the months and years of commitment?
Well if love were all about kissing and caressing,
Where does the love on the cross relinquish to?
How can humans dictate the pace of real love created- no not just created-
But existing in the Almighty?
The One who taught all men to truly love,
to love the offender and the hatchet bearer.
Why would I symbolize a day to prove love
when at each doorstep I ascend I see
Lonely eyes, Hurting hearts, sullen bodies
Craving to taste, embrace and hold unto everlasting love?
The red rose won’t put make sense to that crippled child
holding out a plate to receive one coin for a day’s meal
neither will a beggar skip to the rhythm of love.
How can one ever extend a prom invite to the sick and helpless?
Why would I decorate my lover with all the red gifts around town, claiming
to be head over heels for him,
when in the next month I’m tired of all the love I had for him?
Does it make sense to compose the most sensational, romantic poem for her,
When I’m sure I really do not mean them?
Why should we look into each other’s eyes and chant the sacred word, “I Love you”,
with deception obviously lined on our pupils?
Why would two lovers paint the town red,
And turn envious heads to their show of love,
Only to turn fighters,
And I hear them say, “We were not meant for each other”

Well it is so ideal to love and be loved
But I am only a silent observer,
Perhaps a “wonderer”, pondering
on the intrigues of love and life.
The salient truth is,
True love can only come through knowing Jesus.
A slave master understands conditional love
And his slave is an approval addict.
Humans know to love when the going is good and
Learn to hate when the chips are down.
Man is so quick to punish the offender
And passes approval on the “just”.
Man’s love is fallible and controlled.
Some love with difficult to satisfy conditions,
Others will either not love again or love to hurt.
But His love has no boundaries and lays no claims to color, race or tribe.
Tis’ in Him I learnt unending love given at the expense of death,
Love not reserved for the perfect, the rich and skillful;
That love I earned in deep sin.
His love cannot be fathomed nor will I compare it to a lover man.
God’s love looks beyond a day of roses and scented candles,
His love flows like an endless river and in His love; he rescues the worst of men.
In all my life,
He is the only lover that keeps to His terms without breaking a soul.
I have found in His love;
“Neither do I condemn you, for I see righteousness and hope, and I call you by name”
Tis His love that heals pain and comforts sorrow.
His love holds me through the night and walks into the morning.
I’m speechless in a love that counts not my wrong, chastises my excesses and won’t let me slip away.
That is the everlasting love found only in Jesus!

P/S: We tend to celebrate LOVE on Valentine's day and Christmas alone while so many like me and you need to be AFFIRMED daily and shown deep love.Let's dare to Love as Christ instructed us to...GOD BLESS!


One reason we divide our lives into the secular and sacred, private and public has a lot to do with our personalities. Most people live dual lives- there’s the church “pious” life and the work/ everyday (probably abusive, wild, aggressive, truant, irresponsible, dishonest) life. We put up a lovely, masked appearance (theatrics) and well acted out life for the world to admire yet our private lives are murky- we’ve got skeletons sprawled around- and dingy. Our dual lives bar us from representing who we truly are in God. We want to blend into “every” dough and mingle in every goblet of wine. On Sabbath, we dress in our best ironed out CASSOCK but we’re the sole originators (and DJs) of the wild Friday night party. We simply do not want to miss out on anything in life; we don’t want the world to describe us with the scruffy, fanatics…so we re-brand our “Jesus” to fit into our duality.
Charles Swindoll says, “I don’t see life divided into public and private, secular and sacred. It is all an open place of service before God…"I believe that we are so easily affected by societal pressure, a lot of us suffer an identity crisis so we ape the "Joneses" to gain man’s approval. We strive to meet up with the world’s standard hence the dual nature. The double standard or personality questions our integrity and truthfulness. Meanwhile GOD desires that everything we do- I mean everything including trading stocks, addressing customers, selling in the market, punctuality to the marketplace- brings him glory.

Today’s world instigates man’s superficiality which we see on our TV screens, billboards, shows and the like. They propagate unrealistic lives like the “bling-bling", the labels (and designer clothing), the red carpets, name them. So we model them and celebrate men (and women) who are stunning on the red carpet but quite frankly suffer from broken marriages, drugs, sexual abuse, alcoholism, depression and extremely terrible “off the scene” afflictions. So we see a society subtly promoting dualism lest we appear too weak hence the plastic surgeries face lift and make up to hide the faults and mask the pain.

But GOD created each person a unique being and made each of us holistic (and complete) beings. Though we have loads of weaknesses, phony habits, terrible character flaws because we are not perfect, GOD sees the best in us. All the human approval is short lived because our lives are eternally responsible (and answerable) to Him- that aspect of truth no man can alter. He prefers we live simple, sincere and truthful lives no matter what men think of us. I agree that if we display our weaknesses to men- or the public- they will scorn at us and see us as failures. Most times we fear losing the approval accorded to us by men so we put up the dual life. But I strongly believe that dual living is not only hypocritical but misleading, dangerous and destructive.

I recommend that we (Christians) either stay in or out and stop playing games, and stop the theatrics- its fake! Let’s be men and women of sound doctrine, enviable character to the world and that means upholding godly integrity and uprightness in the most trivial things we engage in- obey traffic rules (avoid one-way and turning at wrong junctions created by bike men), balance our scales, treat our jobs and colleagues with passion and respect, etc. If we open our hearts to GOD’s leading, he will point out those areas we must stand out for his name’s sake even if we are regarded by the crowd as cowardly and unpopular. Let’s desist from trying to be “wanna- bee’s and “feeling among” to gain the world’s applause, let our lives be a rare fragrance. As hard as these path maybe to tread -because of the societal decadence-, GOD needs and equips willing men, die- hard people that will STAND OUT for him so choose you which nature you will wear…the DUAL or…?

Be the God kind of person!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


Everyday I wake up wondering how man exists without God.
I mean a close knitted intimate and romantic, loving God?
I imagine how I’d walk thro the lane of a lonely life without Him?
He is my rising up, my breath, my prayer and my song.
He is my teeth when I brush at dawn, my clothes, my food and my water.
He is my Life, my Lord, my Savior and my doctrine.
He is my inspiration, my gist partner, my workbook, my opinion and my final WORD.

I call Him my kinsman redeemer, my overall “Husby”- the Husband of the wonderfully adorned bride- The Church-
On my office desk He’s my companion, my hands and my feet, my ears and mouth;
He’s all the wisdom, knowledge and understanding for the day’s task,
And only He can take my “shit”.
What a GOD! So adorable that only few words of mine can express His person.
I call Him my righteousness and my peace in a world of turbulence and incessant sorrow.
He is the sun in my horizon,
He’s the star that leads and guides me through the dark night.
He is in me as I am in Him.
He is my Glory, my rest and the lifter of my head.
I go to sleep knowing He’s my bed, my pillow, my blanket, my Watchman and my All.
What a God and a Lover he is to me.


...It was you!
You came along and I clearly heard its you forever.
My head said NO but my heart could not resist a YES!
The Almighty says we're meant to be,and I'm accepting you-by the minute.

We're sync-ing this love together.
At a another Glance,
I know it's you
no one else
But you and always YOU.
I love you My Pearl!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Lunch Break

Its been a sober day.

I stared into my cupboard wondering what to wear to work.I felt frustrated and thought the devil was playing some gimmicks with my joyful morning.You can imagine jumping out of bed and singing to the LORD only to realize there is just no matching shirt or pants to fit...And i sang a comforting song;

"Count it all joy even when it seems so hard to,know he'll never give you more than you can handle"

You may say,all this for work clothes?I say YES!God is equally concerned about my spiritual growth as well as my physical well-being.He will be grieved if I revealed the "seductive" parts and I am sure people will frown at that as well.He will not be glad to see me in rags or some faded clothes because He is aware I interface with Customers everyday and I was not employed to look scruffy but give my company a good image.You know most Nigerians believe in the slogan; "DRESS TO BE ADDRESSED".

So God is more detailed than my earthly father.My sleeping and rising are connected to His will;my walking,talking and carrying out daily tasks are in line with His purpose so which one do we leave out?Job said in His speech; "SO He will do for me all HE HAS PLANNED,He CONTROLS MY DESTINY"- Awesome God.

I actually settled with God today that if He said he will lead me and guide me in the best pathway for my life, then he should supply adequate number of clothes and also define my fashion style.I could actually become a fashion stylist for people and refuse to wear some Western labels(there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with people who use Western labels). I really do not want to live another man's life or try to tailor my looks to people's.It wont be the ENO people have always known and I will be slipping into Saul's body armor(remember David felt uncomfortable in them). I love to look good and confident to God's glory.

And that takes me to something i have found interesting...wearing another man's identity .i.e doing things the way another man wants us to...APPROVAL-addiction.Do you know second hand clothes feel and look good when we can not afford brand new ones? People celebrate Tokunbo cars, equipment, gadgets, etc because they are affordable and i notice we settle for the second best most times.I used to wear second hand clothes and those are clothes worn by another lady.We celebrated and felt so good in them.I have even heard a friend say that its better to drive a second hand car,saying it trains one to handle a brand new car.Hmm,i hate to hear such a misconstrued belief system borne out of years of lack.POVERTY i call it!

So it is when we depend on second hand information instead of being an eye witness or being an accurate "first source of information."A news reporter is privy to first hand info which he could decide to twist to suite his listeners. Look at CNN International Correspondents in war-thorn countries, they see and disseminate,they are involved and risks their lives to get first hand testimony for their listeners.How are we sure some visuals are not made up?Yes,we can not all be reporters but in some cases,i prefer to see and hear for myself.

Let's take a look at the Bible,Moses encountered God face to face. He would go into the mountains and God would give him commands,laws,etc for the Israelites and he would come as a news reporter.Sadly, the children of Israel would never go into the mountains,they feared to see God/his glory.The quivered and shook when God came to them and ran away.God gave Moses all the pattern and specification for the temple, the priestly duties and their garbs(garments).They never heard God face to face ,they relied on Moses,ONLY Joshua dared to go close-remember he was Moses' assistant.

Thank God Jesus rolled away the his death, the curtains of the temple were torn completely so we CAN ALL APPROACH HIS THRONE AND OBTAIN MERCY,even FAVOR(Hebrew 4 vs 16).In case we believe God called only Moses as a judge and law giver,you maybe right but that applies to the old order.Today, we are called and chosen for the harvest and we all are kings and priests.

I brought up this topic because I feel humans in general love human applause, endorsement and approval.We still want to return to the days of Moses,where a Pastor,Church Leader approaches God for us.There was a time the High Priest went into the inner courts while the great crowd stood outside waiting...See Luke 1:8-10But now, we approach God face to face. When we wait for men to seek and see God for us,we will run with their impression and that could affect everything we do.Some perfect examples could be getting a job or finding a life partner.An elderly sister and friend told me weeks ago that I should not wait for anyone to "hear" God for me on the marriage matter and I strongly agree. Should we despise counsel?No!.Should we operate as loners?No.There is a place for wise counsel but do not be too lazy to wait on GOD to know his mind.




God is a father, and he has no favorites.In my little experience,it grieves him when we ALWAYS run to men.He loves to hear us,he loves to see us trust him with our information, our weaknesses and fears.He wants to see us face to face as we ask even the most stupid questions. Man may advise as it pleases him,he'll use personal experience, head knowledge and manipulate the situation to suite his judgment.Ask that man if he really sought God keenly for you?And feel some do not have time.

Let us refrain from running with Saul's armor, let us remain who we are in Christ,and give God the opportunity to dress us in our own unique garments. We identify with David's story because the Lord used the foolish things of this world(stones and a sling) to confound the wise.Let us not wear another man's identity or conviction.Dress to fit YOU!

Sorry people,seems i talk a lot these days,let me not bore you with vain repetition and sign off here.Take a bite of this rich sandwich and see you soon with more news. Cheerio!

Monday, August 23, 2010

We are God's temple

You are important to me and I to U.
We are God's House,
You are me and I'm you;
We are God's temple.

You're a Gatekeeper,I'm a singer,
She is God's office and He's a craftsman
We are important to each other;
We are the lintels and the tower
We are God's temple.

Some are administrators while others are cooks and charity workers'
We all are occupied with His work.
Some are "encouragers" and others Intercessors;
We fill the vacuum in the House
We are God's temple.

Some are Apostles and others Prophets
We are called and chosen for the harvest.
Some also are Shepherds and others Teachers
We complete the building.

While all can not function in same ministry,
We all are God's kingdom and His temple.
God has called some as tailors,others as supports,
We are LIVELY stones in the temple.

Some will write epistles and quite a number will go to the fields(missions)
We are relevant to God and His people.

Some will plant the seeds and others will water the flock
But God makes the increase.
We are God's temple and God's House.

He gave the pattern and diagram and our duty is to build as he commands.
We fill the cracks in the House and seal all leakages;
We belong to each other,you for me and me for you.
We are God's temple.

We have One Kingdom,
One House,
One body,
One Lord,
Only One Lord,
One faith;
One Baptism,
Only One God and Father over all.
We are God's temple.

The Trigger

Bonjour mes Amie...
It was a short weekend for me,i spent most of Saturday and Sunday on the road.On Saturday, i stayed in bed till....and of course stayed in God,did chores et al. Then I got set for a birthday bash(a small boy anyway) and i did not get home till about 7pm. Sunday was also like it-from fellowship with God's people to a marriage Introduction and I must confess,i usually have "work phobia", i really do not look forward to Mondays this days. God help me.Its either i need a change of job or some break. I have suddenly hated the 8 to 6 on one spot.I think I need a more versatile job or a better attitude to my present job.God will sort me out!!!

Well well, my people, lets start this week waiting on God and seeking His face for our nation. I am too sober to cook a sumptuous meal so I propose some fruit fast. I have prepared a rich,succulent bowl of fruits for all to share and balance it with fresh,cool water.

Nigeria, Oh our great Nigeria.The home of great minds yet living as "ICHABOD", a nation blessed with plenteous resources but corruption and all kinds of evil announces us.I am usually pathetic when we-I mean- God's people do not have a firm grip on the nation and can not predict the next step in government.We are either uninterested, blind, ignorant or absent minded .When I listen to some Radio and TV interviews, most people condemn Nigeria as hopeless.If you meet the average Nigerian about the happenings, all you hear is;"I don't know for them o! or "abeg naija no concern me o".

It reveals the state of ease and laxity among God's people-I am shamefully included. We spend majority of our time praying for our needs,wants, pursuing selfish desires,talking and praying about the progress of the church and criticizing the leaders.We sit around finding faults and poking fingers at "lawless" leaders, cursing and abusing our leaders.We live in bitterness, angst,depression, fear and the likes.We even claim to have lost hope in the nation and we do not anticipate any changes,we believe Nigeria is in a state of despondency and decadence that will never be repaired.We believe Nigeria will never emerge as a great nation.

We live without receiving a word from the Lord, we are oblivious to God's mind for the nation not to talk of praying.We feel God is not interested in the nation thinking all that matters to Him is salvation of our souls and I ask;"What of salvation of the soul called Nigeria?"Have we forgotten that God was concerned about physical Israel and still is?.

Remember ELIJAH WAS A MAN OF LIKE PASSION,who lived in a failed and corrupt government headed by a pagan King, Ahab yet he did not sit around like a hopeless man. In fact 1 Kings 17 brings into limelight this man who BOLDLY- such boldness a greater number of us do not have,we choose to play safe and cower in fear and cowardice.We loathe confronting the obvious leaving it to God- told Ahab that as a result of your sin,God has withheld rain in this land for...UNTIL I GIVE THE WORD. A mere man speaking with such audacity, not minding the consequences? The last time Pastor Tunde Bakare and company matched against the government,Christians(both church goers and Christlike men)openly criticized and disassociated themselves from him yet he confronted a just course and today, Bakare's revolution against Yar'Adua's government worked.

How do we think the blacks in America gained recognition if there was no MARTIN LUTHER KING? Go back in history and read on: "Wilberforce"and some others who fought for a just course,see the effect. Pastor Sunday Adelaja did same in Ukraine(Please look for his book "Church Shift")

People,Elijah spoke with such authority and if you are not close to your Bible, let me quote some verses for you-it may set fire in your wailing bones,Ha-ha!Read with me;
" Now Elijah, who was from Tishbe in Gilead, told King Ahab. "As surely as the LORD, the God of Israel lives-the God whom I worship and serve- there will be no dew or rain during the next few years unless I GIVE THE WORD"
Folks, We posses so much authority and power but we perish for lack of knowledge.Most times, we are carried away by our church buildings, sweet sounding church services and all others.If we were in Communist nations,I am so sure our mentality would change because we won't have citadels and Tabernacles with "Comfi", cushioned chairs and A/cs to cross our legs in.
We are made to believe that God called us out of the world so we rarely pray for the peace of Jerusalem. King David did when he said;"Pray for the peace of Jerusalem(Psalm 122) and Jesus wept over Jerusalem.Why won't we give Nigeria our time and prayers?Why can't i wake up at midnight and travail over Nigeria like I do for my dire needs?God has a heart for the nations, its his idea,his passion,his creation and all you can think of.God owns the nations,he says;"Only ask,and I will give you the nations as your inheritance" .So its God's idea.

I do not dispute that there are more than seven thousand wailing and travailing for NIGERIA.I believe many are passionate for a change.I am only addressing those who sit around speaking evil of the country.

May God open our eyes to the state of anarchy we find ourselves.Our present leaders will not do any better because they are callous,Godless men without a servant heart for Nigeria but since the government is still in the coffers,let us therefore ARISE and pray for Nigeria.Pray for YOURSELF cos if you became a leader, you may not be less than a dictator.Pray till the nations of this world becomes the nations of our God and Christ;pray till justice becomes the order of the day;pray till he rules in all spheres,pray till He institutes men like David on the throne-Ref:2 Chronicles 7 vs 14.

Pray; "Oh,God hear the cry of your people,we are under the bondage of taskmasters like the days of Egypt and we desire our liberty in all sectors of this GREAT NATION"We repent as 2 Chronicles 7 vs 14 says and we look to you to judge the nations yet in mercy.
Prophesy: Lord the kingdoms of this world will glorify you all our days.All sectors will speak of your glory and greatness.
Nigeria shall flourish again, we shall ARISE AND SHINE for the Light of God is upon us...Nigeria, beautiful things are spoken of you, amen.
Nepa, Telecomms,NIPOST, NASS and other sectors shall receive the life of the spirit amen.They shall flourish and bring forth light amen.

I pray God to open our eyes to the needs of our dear nation.Even if we sojourn in a foreign land, Nigeria still runs through our veins.God has a purpose for our Nigerian birth and nationality.We owe NIGERIA our prayers and commitment.That will start when we change our attitude to this nation i.e speak great things of her, and believe in her. Though she feels like a failed marriage, let's work hard to keep our love for her and change will come.

Maintain a right attitude and be accountable to her: Do not dump refuse on the road, queue and do not jump the line, do not throw stuff on the streets and in gutters, do not cut corners or break traffic rules and do not pay a bribe,etc.

God bless Nigeria, God bless AFRICA amen.

P/S: I hereby recommend the movie THE BOOK OF ELI by DENZEL WASHINGTON as a MUST watch.It has Biblical allegories and story...Eli,Ichabod Israel.

Friday, August 20, 2010


...The one who hurt me a fortnight ago,
And to forgive the old coot that striped my heart bare leaving me in the pond of shame.
Teach me to bury the age old hatchet against my flesh and blood and
And to not hold unto the ideologies I grew up with.
Help me to hug my papa, mama and oldies and truly mean the warmth
Take away the curse lining my lips and wipe the abuses on the tip of my tongue
Just waiting to fall on my old lovers.

Help me,
To lay aside the sardonic smiles I received from childhood; to forget the spanks, smacks-
And all the missiles released on our generation.
Teach me how to love even when I hear sarcastic and spiteful words.
Help me build the walls of real care and deep concern.
Clean up my murky well, for in there exist bitterness, strife and past wounds.
Tidy me up and adorn me with a new heart for a Judas, a Thomas and a Saul
Make me a heart of a Savior and Lord.
Make me the Lover, to extend the fellowship of selfless, heartfelt romantic service to men and brethren; to truly look out for the hurting, to ease burdened hearts, without condemning them.
Give me grace to love my brethren, buddies and oldies always bearing it in mind;
“Offenses" shall surely come, man is fallible hence expect his imperfections and disappointments,
but to hope only in the Infallible- Providence”

AM at peace

Huh people,good morning and how did the night go?
Am so sure you took heed to my words yesterday?My brother still reminded me this morning that to sleep and wake up is GRACE and to have food on your table is GRACE!God gives his beloved sleep,so be GRATEFUL.

Last night was so emotional and perhaps "mushy" but "we" (not my brother but my bro,LOL)had to obey God and the church leaders....You know when "orders" are given on a matter and you feel they are hard?That is exactly my take on this matter.But we agreed to follow peace with all men, we accepted to play to the sound of their music and allow GOD fight for us.
Yesterday,we laid down "our Isaac" and resolved to WAIT till GOD gives him back to us alive.It is easy to make all these quotes but the processes seem long and painful.It's a TIME to sow in tears and if i may add, last week GOD actually told me audibly;
In my interpretation, i thought to work out the timing till its beautiful to my eyes.But the ways of God are past finding out,his ways are certainly not our ways and I acknowledge God in this matter knowing fully well that He will make a way in the wilderness.

Lessons learned: Follow Gods timing on every matter
Trust GOD wholly and allow him do the fighting
WAIT,REST and BE STILL...He knows the end from the beginning and he will bring a perfect,victorious end.

God delights in total submission. Imagine a heady,shrew wife who constantly flouts her husbands orders?God took me through Colossians 3 v 18;"You wives MUST submit to your husbands as is fitting for those who belong to the LORD". I wondered why God took me to that part of the scripture when I'm partially single("partially cos am on a marriage journey now, smiles)and not yet a wife, though am one in the making, still undergoing the dating to courtship game. Anyway, i imagined God as my husband(for now,HE is), who requires my submission to his will and obedience.

You know we like to add to God's mandates so we echo "permissive will and partial obedience". In my opinion, there is no permissive will and partial obedience.Its either we do His will or refuse to do his will; and its either obedience or disobedience. Therefore, most times, we seek HIS will concerning a matter, and when that will is not pleasing to our senses,we come up with excuses and try to force God to play along with our fleshy, myopic desires.We then feel God permits us to do as we think hence PERMISSIVE will. In my case i have heard God say; "Leave this place of "worship" and i wanted every reason in my "dumb" head to stay there.I gave God every reason why he should accept my timing and understand my reason to stay on....Permissive will,we call it. It's either GOD's will or our selfish disobedient mind which God lovingly excuses till we accept HIS WILL...its always PERFECT, without a guile or stain!

So from Colossians 3, i am learning to SUBMIT to His will as it's fitting to the Lord.I imagine that it will prepare me to take my boo and husband to be's orders.I also know that obeying completely puts the devil in his bottomless pit cos he has no strings to hold on to.It makes GOD glad that we do as he says.

Let me quickly add: God does not force a thing on anyone. We are entitled to our choices but there is just GOD's will and no permissive and perfect will we sometimes preach as a doctrine. Man has his will, God has HIS and his own is complete and final(there is no shadow of turning nor divisions)...

It's almost day time, so let's get to the table and gulp some food,I am not fasting today and my appetite is healthy after "shitting" toxins and all...LOL!
(At the breakfast table)...Let's ask the LORD to help us go beyond this present realm till we are seated with Him in Heavenly places, till we are in HIS WILL, till we see Him face to face.
I am counting this pain as temporary for it produces a far greater glory.I am not just speaking from Head knowledge but from the bowels of living waters steaming,brewing within me.God is using this issues to process HIS will, he is preparing me for a permanent glory and I am sure I will come out as gold. Then I will boldly say; "The Lord has done GREAT things, bless His holy name". Out of my once murky wells will flow clean waters, God will make rivers of living waters stream forth amen.

*Watch this space because this piece serves as a reminder....

Let us receive our meal with THANKSGIVING;

"O Lord you are our God, forever and ever Oh Lord your word is settled in Heaven.You remain God who knows all things and we are grateful for the peace in our hearts.We know that ALL things work together for the good of those who LOVE you and are the CALLED according to your will.Have mercy on us when we disobey you and twist your will.Thank you for receiving us in LOVE and showing us the way to your GLORY.Thank you LORD.....(All say, AMEN!).

Please feel free to eat LAVISHLY, there is so much to eat and drink,you're free to serve yourself!!!