Some days ago, I could hear my heart cry loud, I could feel the heavy tear drops but my eyes were dry and I still wore a calm demeanour. My heart bled and my soul was thirsty but I chose to take courage in God. I could feel a deep frustration about so many things but my response was;"I know God STILL and can...."
I was a bit pensive, sober, restive and disturbed but in my usual God-orchestrated manner SURE of God. I mean it got to a point I should question God and believe the arch enemy's lies that God can not carry all upon his shoulders and he will not fulfil all that concerns me. I was forced to feel that "afflictions" have a salient way of repeating itself over and again BUT I have HOPE in God that all HIS WORDS prove true and the pains and sorrow will not rise up a second nor an umpteenth time amen.
In my muse some days ago, I felt no one cared for me(still the enemy's lies) but the LORD made me see that each person I look up to has a challenge, a struggle and a hurdle to overcome so I should look to Him. My good friend would always say to me; "Eno,LOOK UP". He is the ONLY author and finisher of our faith and it's in Him we live, move and have our being. Therefore, vain is the help of man. Men can rally round but they will not fill the vacuum meant for God.
Now I imagine how Paul and Silas sang and prayed in the face of trials, seeing the prison doors locked against them but hoping in God to deliver them. They may not have sung for freedom from unjust jailing but to let the inmates know that God remains God in good and gory times. So I got myself to praise God-it was not pleasant yet I did-not because I'm waiting for "sudden" results though I wouldn't mind if the answers came instantly but because he remains the unquestionable God.
Praise the Lord I told myself and praise the Lord I will keep telling myself.I will not resort to self pity nor allow anyone do so. If anyone should, let it be God.
Today as I write, God showed me some powerful scriptures spoken through David. One says;
"O my people trust in me at all times. Pour out your heart to me for I,God am your refuge. He said to me; "I have spoken once and many times have you heard me,Power belongs to me and I say to God; "Unfailing love belongs to you(paraphrase mine)".
In gratitude I also read another Psalm; "Lord you crown the year with a bountiful harvest;even the hard pathways overflow with abundance. The wilderness becomes a lush pasture, and the hillsides blossom with joy. The meadows are clothed with flocks of sheep, and the valleys are carpeted with grain. They all shout and sing for joy! Amen.
I owe God all the gratitude for a well spent 2010 even though some fig trees have not blossomed, there is hope for 2011. I particularly thank God for life, I am not six foot down voiceless,ripped to skeletons and confined to grave clothes. I am alive and I rejoice. The troubles of today shall not overwhelm me neither are they to be compared with the glory I shall receive. I can only say; " I shall emerge with testimonies"
Praise God I tell myself!!!
