Monday, February 28, 2011


"Take my life and let it be;
COSECRATED Lord to thee.
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in ceaseless praise"

Have ‎​you ever wondered if songs of praise and thanksgiving to God must always have; "Thank ‎​‎​you", "I praise ‎​‎​you"; "I'm grateful", "I love ‎​you Lord","I worship", adore" and many more eulogy? Most times certain "song writers and music leaders" insist on compartmentalising the songs ‎​​we sing to God as;"Praise and worship." Praise being the "dancable" one with all the "thanks", "Receive our praise" with people clapping, smiling and performing other loud gestures while worship is slow, abit sombre and "cryable" songs go up to God with squeezed faces, squinted eyes with the "worshippers" wearing a serious look and hands flung in the air a lot of times. While I DON'T in anyway mean to argue with their beliefs about "Praise and Worship", I personally believe there is more to music than all these terminology can DEEPLY define.

As the above hymn resonated in my spirit man, I could feel a strong acknowledgement for the awesome things God has done without having to say; "I appreciate ‎​you Lord". My mind strolled back to my childhood "orthodox" church where the Reverend would insist ‎​​we sing only one or two stanzas of a hymn, shaving off the remaining three or more stanzas/verses to save time so people could return ‎​​home after a LONG, monotonous service. I really can't recall if he used to pick out the most powerful and perhaps most meaning stanzas or he just handpicked any so ‎​​we could complete the routine on the "order of service". But as I've grown in wisdom and stature with God, I know the effect of every word in a hymn or song.

Paul reminds us in Ephesians 5vs19 to;
"sing Psalms and HYMNS and spiritual songs(no emphasis on slow and fast songs) among yourselves, making music(not even praise and worship mentioned here)to the Lord in your hearts."

Now whether the music ‎​​we make to God is jazzy, blue-ish,hip hop-pish, rock and rollish, ‎​​we are implored to sing unto Him acknowledging and showing sincere gratitude to Him for everything through Jesus Christ.

As I repeated this hymn(the hymn has no "thank ‎​you etc in it) though a song of dedication to God, I paused and told the Lord that I ​​​am actually showing Him respect(an act of worship), thanking Him and celebrating Him for being a CONSTANT custodian of my life. Alone in my self-contained room with no mum or dad to watch over ‎​​me or a sibling,friend or husband to rock ‎​and coax ‎​​me to sleep but assured that my Heavenly Father is always AVAILABLE I can't help but sing this Hymn to Him. No one knows what's going on in my space save Him and like David opined; "He is an EVER-present HELP in time of need".
He alone can take the reins of my fragmented heart and mould as one, he and ONLY he can put my life in shape. He alone can cleanse ‎​​‎​​me,placing ‎​​me on the path to a new walk with Him. It is ONLY the Lord who can FORGET my silly mistakes "unpardonable" by any man(not even ‎​​me) ,FORGIVE ‎​​and make ‎​​me whole again.

He is a God always ready to "remarry" ‎​​me His bride. He is a God who is(and has become) all things to ‎​​me at different times in my life- a Father, mother,friend,Husband,lover,confidant,Maker,creator,Sister, comforter and the list spills over.

So with this Hymn, I praise and show extreme honour to my GIVER of life for taking off every filthy garment and all the mess of yesterday,and clothing ‎​​me with a new cloak of righteousness. I ​​​​​​am eternally grateful to Him for letting ‎​​me into His kingdom, accepting to show mercy and grace where I need it most, lavishing ‎​​‎​​me with ceaseless love and granting ‎​​me a place next to Him in the High places.

I express sincere appreciation to God for getting involved in every detail of my once wretched life, for specifically opening my heart so he could come in-to-me and see(intimacy) the flaws,pains, un faithfulness and mistakes of my past, turning them into strength, and everything GOOD thing for His purpose in the Kingdom. Though I may not always sing a song to Him, my life and my story are witnesses to His unfailing love for Him- all of who I ​​​am PRAISES God, amen.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The Womb-man


Who sells the "Kparaga"(hard drink) under the bridges? A woman!

Who runs the beer parlours and mans them(at least 60% of the time)? A woman?

Who services the men who drive thro Island, and those regular pick up joints? A woman

Who is used like a water cistern and dumped like whet tissue? The woman

Who plays the harlot and is stoned after each round? The woman

Who bears the brunt of domestic violence,sexual abuse and rape? The woman

Who is thrown out of the home at the death of a spouse and is subjected to despicable tradition? The woman

Who is made to cower under dark clothes and is not allowed to table an opinion? The woman

Who feels the guilt and covers up in shame? The woman

She is the WOMB-man,
Created from His rib.
And bearing the seed-"man-child"

She is an essential work of creation.

She is not a second class citizen nor a feminist;
She is who GOD formed her to be-

A companion, a thinker and a HELP suitable for the man.
She is not a loose piece of cloth,
But an embodiment of knowledge.

She is a valuable piece of fine stone,
Carved out to shine through a man.
She is an honourable woman;
Who fears the Lord.

She is a praying woman
Who stands on the watch towers to intercede for her ‎​​home.

She perhaps has flaws
Though repairable she is,
But is a joy to many generations;
Her works will be spoken of to many generations.

She is a virtuous woman
And she can be found.

She is not a heap of rubble (though may ooze with stinking weaknesses)
Within her lies springs of living water to wash her clean.

Treat her as gold, and she will sparkle;
Pamper her and her fragrance will change.
Show her extravagant love and her face will beam with smiles.
Soothe her with patience and the best of her will be revealed.
Treated her as weaker vessel
Because the Lord made her so.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


On the cool Sunday afternoon, I played some songs from Don Moen's collections and when I got to a particular song titled BREAKTHROUGH, in the Album “Hiding Place”, I paused and listened intently to every expression amidst tears till I was LIFTED .Then I borrowed certain words to express how I felt before the LORD- though broke with a lot of bills to settle, with some plans seeming so bleak and awaiting response- and in that state I wrote the words below to encourage a reader,perhaps to emphasise that God, our Father in the midst of us is mighty and all our challenges is still in line with His eternal purpose for our lives. I implore that you praise Him CONSTANTLY:

Breakthrough when life doesn’t make sense,
Breakthrough Lord, when the WORD is mere black and white and nothing more.
Breakthrough the status quo and every limitations;
Breakthrough our past failures and people’s opinion confining us.

Breakthrough when the songs do not sound like praise but a dirge.

Breakthrough Lord, when we wonder where the next meal will come from, when the bills will be paid and the debts appear as mountains;
Breakthrough the evil medical cum bad reports, dead situations until we see life spring forth
Break through hopelessness.

Breakthrough our unbelief and myopia
Breakthrough our shame and our frailties Lord;
till our humanity receive divinity, Father do not let us stay here,
Call us hither till we see your face.

Father breakthrough our hardened hearts and wipe the tears
Breakthrough barrenness and delays till we sing your songs in a strange land,
Until we see you face to face.

Breakthrough till we see the brightness of the morning
Until Jesus is revealed and our faith is unshaken and FOUND in you,
{And in the words of a friend}: till we sing our songs arrayed in royal cloaks and wear our crowns in strange lands, Lord Breakthrough;
BREAKTHROUGH till all we SING IS YOU amen.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My sincerest Love letter to God(with emergency response)

I woke up on February 14 with a genuine desire to get ‎​married with absolutely little or no feelings for Valentine. Though every red paintings, decorations and the day's activity blazed into my eyes, my innermost NEED is to have and to hold for better for poorer, in sickness and health till forever amen.
Customarily, I send several text messages to the man who's thrown me off my donkey and made this time in my life really meaningful. Its so sweet to love,the mystery of love(not fantasies or lust) lies with God who understands when a man loves a woman. I have never felt this loved and so taken off guard,I have had relationships in the past which I was partially committed to. My dear friends way back in University told me I was as hard as "rocks"(un emotional and in charge). All that was a farce or a mirage of the real me.

From the beginning of this month,I have been on a love spree not minding if its called the love month though I wanted my man to realize how red my heart is and to shock myself how much I can walk a thousand miles for a man who doesn't always love but also annoys me to the point where I refuse his calls(all nah yanga,"gra-gra" posing for attention). As a matter of fact, I choke the life out of him(so he says) and that makes him feel so accepted and so wanted. Yeah, that's no" cheapening"(making me lose my worth) myself but makes love a two way thing as Christ is to the church. He loves me more I think but he says I love him more than he does...whatever ‎​​‎​​we just love!

But somewhere in the day while reading a certain mind blowing book, I stumbled on a part that addressed making life decisions(including marriage), my heart skipped and fear came knocking. I took time to meditate on the reasons I love this particular man not another?
Yeah, I ‎​​​am a full grown woman,very ripe to have a ‎​​home yet crippled by fear. I hear or read people's experiences and wonder at love?I used to think I'm a love maestro until I realised how stiff I ‎​​​am with a man. I do not let my guards down so easily, I ‎​​​am so aware of my environment meaning I could jump in and jump out without a crease on my heart(all lies because I hurt).
So, I scribbled a love note to God the way I could express myself-with sobriety and pain that at some point I knelt down, I stretched out on the floor, I paced the room and I hardly remembered food.

I wrote some letters in three different ways: first repenting for all my past, second(the ONLY one I'd share here) listing some fears I've had and third was some deep self discovery.

Lo! the letter to God:

"Lord, its not time to beat myself for running into love and I'm sure its not a mistake I chose to love a man. You encouraged me to look on the brighter side of my past experiences. Though I've goofed a lot of times, made choices with my head and run ahead of you several times, I'm clean now and following you the best I can.
I've sat on a horse weigh too long taking all the time in my world to alight. I've dictated to you and refused to be "tweakable" to the demands of love. I'm too proud to beg and extremely set in my ways to let a man ruffle shoulders with me. I've carried mama's attitude not to allow a man mess with me neither ‎​​​am I supposed to love him more or quickly reveal the love I have for him. I have believed the old wives myths of not allowing a man access me till he's spent, covertly accepted worldly standards of love-to say "No" even if it should be a "Yes" until he's licked the soles of my feet trekked through deserts,sweated up and down Mount Everest as a prove of his undying love. I have secretly endorsed lying philosophies about men and agreed with some feminist moves about the L.O.V.E(some say single women should not be too available to a a man,while loving less). All of these are detrimental to the God kind of love ‎​you so desire I imbibe and embrace and these lies contribute to my staying on the same mountain all ‎​γεαr round. I have a misconstrued ideology of not letting a man know I love him because of someone's exaggerated analysis on men,even swallowed "panadol" for another babe's heartache, worn my neighbour's over sized jacket about men taking advantage of women therefore permitting all the negative experiences of marriage and divorce permeate my soul.
So Father I ‎​​​am here, an amateur lover who has the poetic skills and rhymes but so new to love. I confess I neither know how to or keep love. I have the words but lack the oil to lubricate the engine when in crisis. I ‎​​​am like a snail when there's a misunderstanding, my shell is safe to stay alone throwing tantrums and acting like a baby. I have a masters in frowning and a PH.d for mood swing when there are scores to settle....
Father, I won't stay this way with a long list of who I ‎​​​am not supposed to be again. That was my sordid past and this is a new day for me to be a new creation. I ‎​​​am before you weeping till I'm changed. I want to love so true and love the way you directed us to. I ‎​​​am like a dissected animal open to learning. I need YOU then I can love my man.
I drop all false pattern of marriage picked from ‎​​home, friends and neighbours. I lay aside selfish attitudes, the ME and only me nature, the subtle opinionated,domineering and wanting to stay in charge syndrome.
Take away independence, impatience, sarcasm, coldness and stubbornness. Don't allow that in ten years time,I'm bored stiff with marriage and regrets of settling for this man. Today(my deliverance has come), I shall love genuinely and wholly without prejudice or greed. I shall have the ONLY true pattern of love found in Christ and not man's experience.
Make every moment exciting for me to stay ‎​married. Let me enjoy marriage no matter the bumps, thorns and poodles ‎​​we encounter. As ‎​​we get to a fork or detour, help us to stop, ponder and wait for you to lead and guide us with your eyes. Let us trust each other for life knowing ‎​​we are but frail and fallible.
Make me handy, homely and virtuous that he will long to run ‎​​home to me forever more amen. "

As theoretical as my prayers sound, its the reality of who I have been all these while and today, I have found SALVATION and I'm now so ready to take the baton as a wife to the man who's made me love like the newest mad woman in town. The goodnews: I will marry Him!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

A Trip to the marketplace!

Today I went by the market to fix my pair of "good" shoes(I call it good cos I bought it with money I could have used for better things) and as I sat at the cobblers shop, I took time to study the marketplace. These men and women are everyday people like you and ‎​me,who wake up daily with some element of optimism and persistence to life. They have hope in the day's business,plan on how to close deals,make profit and will not quit because of yesterday's loss or recession. They are "go-getters", resilient, resolute,rugged and thick skinned able to accommodate blows and punches(such an uncanny ability I covet).

I watched the cobblers hang out their shoes and set up their office, shop owners putting out clothes,wares and tidying their shops, a printer cleaning up his tools to start screen printing etc. I watched them like the famous story of a man led to the Potter's shop and learned a salient lesson. These sellers believe and have hope. They do not choose the easy,comfortable side of life, they are fighters, they persevere and keep keeping on. They prefer to sit infront of their stalls probably chattering away and calling out to buyers,expecting just one customer rather than retreat at ‎​​home musing over life. They won't give up because yesterday's sells were slow or business has been terrible, they keep trying determined today would be better than yesterday.

The cobblers were so busy cutting designs, carving skin and sewing shoes. They do not look sombre. They go about the day's work with diligence and so much zeal.

The lesson learnt is: DON'T GIVE UP, as simple as these sentence is, its powerful! Stay in the battle and fight in good faith with unimaginable joy. In my case, I'd say to all and sundry, pray without giving up, hold the anchor like its the last thread of hope and be joyful even though the fig tree has not blossomed. Yes, I can attest to the fact that life can throw you off the boat to a wreck but I implore ‎​​we GRAB the anchor though the waters surge and the winds rage almost swallowing you up, HOLD on tightly till the waters cede and calmness of the eventide set in.