Men some days feel like i should be with a man like last night...O! my i was so mushy mushy,i felt like a drunk, i had to wrap myself with a towel and cover two wrappers.I even told my friend whom i Love so much(i think he sensed it from the way i expressed myself).Oh well,i feel stupid but i think its not an unusual feel,i am laughing at myself cos GOD put the desire for a man there.
I wish one man or some witnesses could just call me and MAN to one small room and we wed so some desires like "sex" will be in its rightful place.I don't even want to ponder on the sexual thingy till I am in fellowship or should i say in consonance with God's idea for sex....MARRIAGE. But men, some nights can be tempting....I judge masturbation and lesbianism,its a NO GO AREA amen.Not even sex with my bosom friend, LORD i won't trespass with ya help alone o cos its easier said when you have no man around or when riff-raffs come around toasting BUT when a man you love sits around you, and stretches his body, then you take a hard look at his biceps- you dream of having a deep hug and some caress,watch the movement of his lips-you dream of kissing and the thoughts go on and on to areas I don't wanna conceptualize.I think its a sweet feeling to have that man but its BEST in marriage.I want to wait lest guilt rocks my boat!!!
The mushy feeling didn't just go,but i was bold enough to tell GOD how i felt.On my way to work i was thinking of just one man...one i love, one i choose to love despite the flaws and past mistakes.I love him as he is and i prayed in my bathroom that God will help me truly LOVE and love without reservations.And some word i believe came as an impression by the spirit is; "HE MAKES ALL THINGS BEAUTIFUL IN HIS TIME".
I will undo all the fears and choose to abide in God's embers.
God created the heavens and the earth out of a void,he formed something out of nothing and made life from the dust of the ground, I so trust GOD to make this unbecoming man and situation into a promising and potential personality.
I remember my sister commented on my note last week saying;"May God grant you 'a diamond' whom you can support through the transformation from rough & dirty to your Proverbs 32 man, in Jesus name, Amen!.You may wonder where Proverbs 32 comes from?I have a note on him which i will post soon.
I now believe that he is not a perfect ROLLS ROYCE or an expensive BENTLEY,or a state of the art WHITE HOUSE,he is a man formed from the dust, as dry as the bones in the valley,as despised as 'lil David yet i see him as my priest, my king and my husband.
I will wait.I will stand by him except God says he is not worth my time.I know he will make a good husband and who says he is a heap of rubble? Did Christ not die for him as well?Who is that man that's refused to bury his hatchet on account of this man's mistakes? Let such a man raise a stone against him and prove to me that he is GOD?Even God still wants such to come to repentance, even God loves this soul.
I just pray to love all the council of men and Sanhedrin who sit around to pass judgment.I pray not to bear a grudge or hold aughts against them.I pray to LOVE them that cast a stone on him....
Well, i pray to truly love to the point where i find no fear or harbor doubts.I will trust God all the way in this matter amen.
I think the mushy feeling has something to do with the weather...well i shall endure to the end(smiling),amennnnnnn
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